Saturday, February 6, 2010

Help! There's a monster in my kitchen!

I woke up the other morning and was greeted by a monster that was happily sitting on the kitchen sink. Here's what he looked like:



I almost ran out of my house screaming and pulling my hair, but being the mature woman that I am, I calmed myself down, went and had breakfast, watched some Seinfeld, had a bit of a read from one of my many half-read books before venturing back to the kitchen area. Believe it or not, the 'head in the sand' technique worked and I realized that I had exaggerated the monster's size because this time he looked more like this:



oh and he was very well behaved because he didn't mind being stuffed away in the dishwasher.

I had been on holidays from doing dishes for the past 10 months because my mother-in-law was visiting us and she helped out with the dishes (and many more things). It was such a relief coming home from work without worrying about who was going to do the dishes or if there would be enough dishes to justify using the dishwasher.

Trying to remember how life was before I ever had to do dishes is much like trying to remember a past life on another planet. I recall that I was about 9 or 10years old when my mom excitedly informed me that I was going to take on some responsibility in the family. Boy, was I impressed with myself. I felt like I had landed a new job. Previously, I was always too young to be in the kitchen and much disliked being shooed away from that area. Now I was responsible for doing the dishes after lunch. What an important task that was. Needless to say, the novelty of my new assignment wore off after a few weeks and I began to learn that most times, responsibility couldn't be shaken off your shoulders just because you no longer found it enjoyable.

As we all know, the older we get, the more we have to take on, so very soon, I happily relinquished the lunch dishes to my younger brother and took on the heavier burden of the breakfast and dinner dishes. How heavy this was! I quickly discovered that dinner was usually the most elaborate meal of the day because there were always millions and millions of plates, pots, pans, spoons, and other strange utensils lying around and waiting to be washed. In our days, using the dishwasher was out of the question because it spoiled the children. So it was usually with a solemn and despondent disposition that I ventured into the kitchen every evening after dinner.

Life got better when I became much older because I now graduated into making either lunch or dinner so my younger siblings now took over the dishwashing role. How sweet! I didn't think twice about using two extra spoons even if it was unnecessary just to pay them back for the years they sat and watched Sesame Street while I was slaving away in the kitchen! Yeehah!
When I left for Uni, I said goodbye to doing dishes for the rest of my life. Afterall, I was going to get married after Uni, buy a dishwasher and never do a single dish till I was 99 years old. Alas, I was wrong. The first few places we rented after we got married did not have dishwashers and we weren't about to buy one in a rented apartment. Many arguments centered around whose turn it was to do the dishes and why the person who made dinner had to use many unnecessary utensils! Life with a dishwasher would be paradise in my home.

We moved out of our apartment into a house and yes there was a dishwasher but it came with the added responsibility of paying for water! Isn't life funny? So, now I've finally got a dishwasher, but I also have to wait till I've got a full load of dishes before I can use it else I will be wasting water! If I waited till I had a full load of dishes, there would be nothing to use and my kitchen will stink. Far out! Do you know how hard it is to be doing dishes when the dishwasher is sitting around being idle and staring at you from under the sink? The English language will not adequately describe the feeling so your imagination will suffice.

Life goes on. I have my dream but I can't live it to the full. I wonder if my husband realizes that the days he gets over 10 "i love you"s from me are those days that he does the dishes. On the other days, I patiently wait for my 15 month old daughter to become older so she can take on some more responsibility in our family. Till then, it's hands to the dishwashing liquid for me. C'est la vie.